Buy yourself a magnetic dry-erase board for the fridge. We’re gonna work on being good, whatever being good means for you. Have something in mind, it’ll come in handy in this post.

They have dry-erase markers with a magnet on ’em, too. Pick up one of those. They may even come as a set. Mine did, and the marker even has an eraser on the end! Score.

I wrote on mine:

__ / __ / 24

I ❤️ U. Be Good

That’s a lie. I had a date in there to begin with.

The date that I was signaling the effort to be good, for what that means for me.

Then it was another date, and ten days later, another, and sometime last month was another date. This is why having the magnetic dry-erase marker is a must, specifically, the eraser part.

Stick it up there right by the board. Ours is more of a square than an actual board, but if I told you earlier: “Buy a dry-erase square,” you’d be like WTF, Adam, that’s not a thing.” So I hooked ya on whatcha knew, then I hit ya with the square.

Not a board, a magnetic dry-erase square. (Of course, a board would work.)

And the pen.

With the eraser.

Fresh ink every day; may be a rocky start when you’re just setting out trying to do good or getting back to it, and you may be erasing and writing dates daily. Still, do it. If it’s daily, it’s daily.

The square is up there on the pantry side of the fridge. Twelve-year-olds grabbing Doritos have smudged it all up pretty well, being dry-erase and all, and them being around twelve years old. Besides, I’ve been managing to be good since September 1.

All’s that’s left up there now, as I glance at it, is

sm ud g e/24

I ❤️ U. Be Good

Dates or no dates, that’s less important than this: You may not be ready to write

I ❤️ U

either.

All good. But we’ll need to work on this.

We can plug in dates when we’re ready, but we work on loving ourselves before we’re ready because we’ll never be sufficiently ready to take a first step toward being a little better if we’re not loving ourselves. After all, we’re the ones worth being good for. It’s a lot of erasing until we accept ourselves. I’ve been erasing, man, I know. Barely holding on as is.

So it’s practice time: Write “I ❤️ U” and speak it as you write it. You can even say “heart” if “love” is a bridge too far. But you’re not off the hook that easy. Every time you go strolling past the fridge, let the square catch your eye, flash it a smile, and say, “I ❤️ U. Be Good”

Now we’re getting somewhere.

I find my refrigerator ritual to be a lesson in forgiveness. Did I miss the opportunity to be good? Erase and fresh ink. We have to practice acknowledging and letting go. Practice it every day until you see erasing and rewriting as natural, then practice it until you almost miss the opportunity to be good the next time, until you pause and think of your refrigerator. And smile.

We all take a lot of work. I ❤️ U. Be Good

This blog post was published by Glioblastology on September 17, 2024. It is republished with permission.