So I lost all my hair. I told you it was happening but I bet you didn’t think it would all happen in one go. Haha. So I had a really good week where I was busy out visiting friends and this was the week where my head hurt. So by that weekend if I really tried I could have pulled it all out. But I wanted to keep it in for the weekend as I was out with friends and I didn’t wanna look like “that” person. So I just hairsprayed the shit out of it all. I figured if hairspray can normally keep a style in place it can keep my hair from falling out too, right? Haha. Well believe me… There was no disaster! It worked! So by the time bank holiday Monday came round I didn’t think I could push it for any longer. So I went outside and just started pulling… And pulling… And pulling. It didn’t hurt. By this point I think it was just sitting in the hair follicle. By the end of it all it looked liked I’d just brushed a big fluffy dog but unfortunately there was no dog to cuddle at the end of it.

I was OK about it all, I mean it took me a while to get used to looking at myself in the mirror every time I came across one and I have major tan line issues going on but I’m OK with it. This is just another factor of cancer I have to deal with. It just annoys me that I now look like the cancer victim. Before I could hide it pretty well and pretend to be normal but there’s no denying what I’m going through now. I’m still not doing the wig route. I don’t see the point. It’s obvious what they are and they’re never nicely made. And the whole head scarf look is worse! That’s just highlighting the fact of what you’re going through. So I may be a beacon of light with my pasty white head but at least I’m still being me.

I haven’t lost my eyebrows or eyelashes yet. I expect I will and I’m gutted that I probably will. Because that is the epitome of “cancer victim” and you lose all your features so you look sick no matter what… But ah well… As with everything else we’ll cross that bridge when I come to it!

This post originally appeared on Happy Smiling Cancer Girl. It is republished with permission.